


Not ever; never

by Kiiesaa



Series: We're not little kids (not anymore) [3]
Category: Pentagon (Korea Band), Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Confessions, Dad!Wooseok, Fluff, High school - alternate universe, M/M, Slight angst ... hardly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-26
Updated: 2017-06-26
Packaged: 2018-11-19 07:03:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11308215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiiesaa/pseuds/Kiiesaa
Summary: “But really, you confessed? To Yoo Seonho? Are you kidding me?”Guan Lin hummed feebly. “Yeah, I did.”“And?” Samuel dragged his seat much closer to Guan Lin’s, invading the latter’s personal space. “What happened? Tell me.”“He ran away.”Samuel’s brows were furrowed at the answer, slightly confused and taken aback, stared at the other incredibly and in disbelief. “Hypothetical or …”“Literally.”“Damn, man.”





	Not ever; never

**Author's Note:**

> I miss Seonho. I really do. But I trust cube so yeah.
> 
> And this is ... idk. Really. XD I was really frustrated about Seonho not making it so I made this. Gonna add another story, Seonho's, before I end the series.
> 
> But yeah, enjoy!
> 
> PS: Samuel, Guan Lin, Baejin and Jihoon are about the same age here. Seonho is younger... so yeah.

“You’re gawking at him again, Guan Lin. It’s not nice to stare at other people like that.”

“What?” Guan Lin asked and turned his head. He and his friends were at the school’s cafeteria, eating lunch. The other three boys were in the middle of a dialogue, retelling a weird story about what happened to Jihoon the day before, and somehow Guan Lin zoned out at the middle of Jihoon’s assertions. He was staring at nothing in particular, but something suddenly caught his eye and it lingered there for a few seconds more than necessary. It was Seonho. He was with his classmates, eating at a table just across Guan Lin’s. He was smiling, laughing, probably at some funny joke his friends were telling. Guan Lin couldn’t help but stare, at Seonho, and before he knew it, he was lost. Only the sound of his Jinyoung’s familiar voice and Samuel’s audible cough had managed to reel him back into reality and snapped him out of his own trance. “What do you mean?”

His friends had stopped talking and focused their attention on an awe-struck Guan Lin. “Your eyes sparkle when you look at him, it’s cute,” Jihoon said.

“You look at him like you haven’t seen him for so long,” Jinyoung added nonchalantly.

“When in fact you just talked to him a while ago,” Samuel chimed in, wanted to be part of the conversation. “You’ve got it bad, man. Seonho literally has you wrapped around his fingers.”

Guan Lin barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the underlying meaning behind his companions’ statements before he turned his focus back to his neglected lunch in front of him. “Shut up.”

The three other boys chuckled in unison at Guan Lin’s reaction.

“C’mon dude, you’ve been pining on little Seonho for quite some time now, don’t you have plans to confess at all?” Samuel asked but not forgetting to lower his voice in case someone was eavesdropping on them. “You’re so whipped and you know it.”

Guan Lin did not answer, he did not need to, so he continued eating his food quietly. The latter saw no significance in defending himself if it was simply just to satisfy his friends— Guan Lin did not care. In fact, it was never a mystery to any of them that Guan Lin had certain non-platonic feelings for Seonho, despite Seonho being younger than Guan Lin and their evident personality differences.

 

“Okay, you might be close friends and whatnot, but if you’re gonna keep this up, others are gonna snatch him away from you before you even noticed,” Jihoon added, rather serious.  “You know how famous Seonho is, right?”

Guan Lin could not come up with a retort so he remained silent. The young lad then pondered on his friend’s words for a bit and Guan Lin frowned at the thought. _Jihoon was right._

Ah, Guan Lin hated Jihoon for always being right at everything.

Although he had not voiced out his insecurities before, that was what Guan Lin was afraid of lately; someone taking Seonho away, away from him most especially. Amidst his efforts on choosing not to care, keeping up with his usual deadpan facade, Guan Lin was well aware of Seonho’s social status at school; about a few rumors, about few people setting their eyes on him even before Guan Lin came to Korea

Everyone liked Seonho, but well, who wouldn’t like him?

 

“Dude, you really have to do something,” Samuel urged. “Man up.”

His friends made it sound so easy, but what was he supposed to do anyway? Guan Lin was so confused.

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Guan Lin, dude,” Samuel called, tapped the other by his shoulder. “Are you gonna head on home?” Classes had already ended that day, sooner than Guan Lin had expected.

Guan Lin nodded his head, fixed his things and stuffed them inside his backpack. Jinyoung and Jihoon already went on ahead, asked their permission before they left since they had something urgent to do (will probably go on a date, as usual).

“With Seonho?” Samuel added.

Guan Lin wasn’t sure why Samuel had to ask when he already knew the answer to his own question, but Guan Lin still nodded again nonetheless. There was a glint in Samuel’s eyes, both teasing and mischievous but Guan Lin was already used to it. Ever since his friends found out that he liked Seonho, the teasing just wouldn’t stop. How they found out, Guan Lin never knew. But the weird thing was, Guan Lin never told anyone— not a single soul— that he liked Seonho, and yet they still managed to find out, even his Dad did.

Was he that obvious?

“Good luck with that, man,” Samuel said after him as Guan Lin grabbed his own bag and made his way out of the room, not bothering to spare the other a second glance more. He easily went straight to the gym rather than to Seonho’s classroom at the next building. Seonho had basketball practice that day, like every other day of the week, and stayed at the gym frequently.

 

When Guan Lin arrived at the area, a lot of Seonho’s fangirls already were there; it was unnecessarily noisy, even when he was just by the door. But he wasn’t surprised, it happened almost every day. Though it was a big contrast to how much of a nerd Seonho could be when he was with Guan Lin, Seonho was very well known in their school, probably in other schools all across Seoul as well. Since Guan Lin was still new then, he had no clue but as days passed by, he came to understand the reason why. Despite being the youngest regular ever to be included in the team, Seonho was the best player their school had; he was an asset that they could not afford to lose.

The team was doing drills, the usual regime that they go through every single day. Rubber soles would squeak loudly against the polished floor as they ran back and forth across the court in concentration. Seonho’s fans would squeal and holler piercingly whenever the younger made the basket, while Guan Lin would only stare quietly from his seat.

Seonho was really good at basketball; he got his prowess from his Dad who played the sport blissfully during his younger days. That’s how Guan Lin got close to Hongseok, Seonho’s dad, in the first place. Since they lived right next to each other, Seonho would ask Guan Lin to join them and they’d usually play a few games on the weekends. Guan Lin wasn’t as good as Seonho but he could definitely keep up and not lag behind. Hongseok would praise his skills if given the chance, would ask him why he hadn’t joined Seonho’s team with his abilities. Well, he had been considering it for quite some time. Ever since Seonho found out he was good at the sport, the younger kept bugging him to join the team but Guan Lin would turn down his offer every single time. Playing him Seonho was fine, but playing with a whole bunch of other dudes ….. Guan Lin wouldn’t know how team play worked even if it bit him in the butt. Besides Seonho and his friends, Guan Lin wasn’t good with people.

Another surge of incoherent squeals and very unintelligible babble erupted in the vicinity when Seonho made a rather impressive shot from the 3 point line. The younger smiled in triumph when the ball with in easily, his team mates gave him congratulatory high fives as they went back to their marks. No wonder people adored Seonho. Not only was he a talented player, he was also tall, handsome and had outstanding grades; he was the best in their year. He was perfect, in every sense of the word.

Seonho’s melodious laugh echoed through the air as he joined his team mates and their practice continued on. Then after some time, the coach gathered them up for one more round of instructions before they were dismissed. When Seonho took a step back from their group huddle, he saw Guan Lin’s familiar figure sitting at the nearby bleachers and his face brightened at the sight (or maybe Guan Lin’s eyes were playing tricks on him again).

“Hyung,” Seonho greeted as he jogged towards Guan Lin.

 

“Took you long enough.” Guan Lin swore he heard the girls beside him holding their breaths as Seonho came near.

“Sorry.” Seonho rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Wanna head on home after this?”

“Why else would I wait for you?”

 

“Okay … I’ll just head onto the showers and get my stuff.” Seonho smiled. Guan Lin couldn’t help but stare slightly agape. _Samuel’s right. I am whipped._

“Hurry up, slow poke.”

 

“Ya, Seonho-ah! Your lover boy won’t disappear if you leave him there for a second,” Hyunbin, one of their seniors called for him from across the court. “C’mon, we have to hit the showers!”

“Be right back, hyung,” Seonho turned and left but not forgetting to wave his hand.

 

When Seonho was gone, the girls on his right were giving him weird, creepy and lethal looks. They were mumbling enviously about how lucky he was to be friends with a guy like Seonho.

 _Yeah right._ Guan Lin rolled his eyes in exasperation, took his bag and stood up, then marched to the boys’ locker room to wait for the younger so they could go home.

 

* * *

 

 

 

They headed home in silence, but not until Seonho brought up a small topic they could mutually discuss about. It was mostly Seonho who did the talking though, Guan Lin would just listen. Seonho’s voice was nice; it appeased Guan Lin in some odd way.

Seonho was talking about something, byeongari, Guan Lin did not know what the word meant but Seonho was smiling happily like a child as he talked, his eyes lit up in interest and his body exerted exaggerating and unnecessary hand gestures. The word _beautiful_ crossed his mind as he looked at Seonho.

“Seonho-ah,” Guan Lin suddenly interrupted. “I wanna tell you something.”

“You sound so serious, hyung. You’re making me scared all of a sudden.” Seonho laughed, but it was a nervous chortle, not his usual kind.

Good, Guan Lin wasn’t the only one nervous then.

 

Guan Lin took a deep breath, mustered all the courage that he could find before he blurted, “I like you,” with remorse whatsoever.

 

Seonho was repeatedly blinking at him, confused maybe. Not the kind of reaction Guan Lin had expected. “Oh. Really? Well, I like you, too, hyung.”

 

Guan Lin grunted in frustration but kept it under his breath so the other won’t be alarmed. But it didn’t take Guan Lin by surprise though; it was so like Seonho to not get something as obvious as a confession like that. “No. I mean, I like _like_ you,” Guan Lin repeated, trying to emphasize his point more clearly. “I like you, Seonho.”

It took a few more seconds before Seonho actually understood what he meant.

 

“Oh.”

 

….

….

….

 

“ _Oh._ ”

 

 _Finally. He_ _understands._ “Yeah. I like you.”

 

Then, it happened.

Everything was at a frenzy, Guan Lin hadn’t been able to fully grasp the situation. But one thing was for sure, when Seonho left, in hurry, not even turning his back on Guan Lin when he did, it broke Guan Lin’s heart right then and there.

 

* * *

 

 

 

“What’s wrong with you?” Samuel asked the next day. “You seem so down.” Guan Lin was seated on his desk, just besides Samuel’s. He had his head rested on the wooden table to the side as he stared off a faraway window, a dejected aura looming around his entire being.

“He’s ignoring me,” Guan Lin answered weakly.

It was just them— Guan Lin and Samuel— at their classroom. Guan Lin couldn’t sleep well that night before so he went to class early the following morning. He thought that drowning himself in school work or just by merely keeping his head busy might help him forget about what happened but … it wasn’t that simple.

“Who? Seonho?”

Guan Lin didn’t need to answer. He knew that Samuel would get it eventually.

“Don’t tell me you ….”

 

It didn’t take long before Samuel had been able to decipher the reason behind his friend’s silence.

 

“Oh my god. You didn’t …”

 

The stoic yet definitely noticeable frown on Guan Lin’s face before he groaned was enough to pass off as a response.

 

“Oh shit! You did!”

 

“Muel, language,” Guan Lin scolded.

“Sorry,” Samuel apologized. “But really, you confessed? To Yoo Seonho? Are you kidding me?”

Guan Lin hummed feebly. “Yeah, I did.”

“And?” Samuel dragged his seat much closer to Guan Lin’s, invading the latter’s personal space. “What happened? Tell me.”

 

“He ran away.”

 

Samuel’s brows were furrowed at the answer, slightly confused and taken aback, stared at the other incredibly and in disbelief. “Hypothetical or …”

 

“Literally.”

“Damn, man.”

Guan Lin sighed. “Muel.”

 

“Sorry, bad habit.” Samuel was looking at him. Guan Lin didn’t want to look back, the possibility of seeing pity shine through the other’s eyes was enough to make Guan Lin insecure. He didn’t want Samuel’s sympathy or anyone else’s. “But seriously, he did?”

Guan Lin honestly did not want to talk about it. He refused to reply back— it still hurt— being reminded of how Seonho turned his back on him and never spoke to him again, even at school, or answered any of his calls and messages, just because of one lousy confession what went horribly wrong. So Guan Lin ducked his head down and laid there helplessly on his desk. Samuel took it as a cue for him to leave his friend alone for the mean time, and he did. Guan Lin needed space and Samuel willingly gave it in return.

Ever since Guan Lin moved to Korea a few months prior, he had grown accustomed to the younger always being near him. Although Guan Lin had clearly shown irritation and disinterest at Seonho’s clingy and troublesome personality, not once had Seonho ever stayed away and was persistent about being friends with the introverted male no matter what.

But the tables were turned; it was Seonho who was avoiding Guan Lin like a plague. Was it because of his confession? Maybe Guan Lin just read the entire situation wrong? Maybe Seonho didn’t like him back like he initially thought?

 

_I shouldn’t have confessed in the first place._

 

* * *

 

 

Guan Lin was trying to keep himself distracted. He was watching some random videos on the internet just so he wouldn’t stray away from thinking about a certain basketball junkie. He had been doing a pretty good job when a sudden knock came on his door.

“Hey, bud.” Wooseok’s head popped out of the doorway, peeking through his son’s room.

“Hey, dad,” Guan Lin greeted then closed his laptop. The older made his way towards the younger’s bed and handed him a cup of steaming hot chocolate he was holding in his hand. “What’s that for?”

“They say hot choco makes everything better,” Wooseok explained and urged Guan Lin to take it which he did. “You seem sad, thought it would cure you. Made it myself.”

Guan Lin stared at the cup his Dad had brought and fought a smile threatening to break into his facial features. “Thanks, dad.” Knowing how rarely Wooseok pulled a stunt like that, it was probably Yuto who told Wooseok to check up on him; Guan Lin had been silent at dinner again. But Guan Lin still found it endearing, how Wooseok was actually trying to open up to him.

 

Wooseok was speechless for awhile and Guan Lin was quietly drinking his hot chocolate before the older eventually said, “I don’t know what’s up and you probably don’t wanna talk about it anyway so I won’t force you to,” in a huff. “Just hang in there, buddy, okay? If you need your father and me to help you out, we’ll always be here. All you have to do is just tell us.”

Guan Lin smiled genuinely, the first time after that Seonho incident. “Yeah, I will do that. Thanks, dad.”

Wooseok reached and ruffled the younger’s hair lovingly at the reply. Ah, Guan Lin had really grown up to the sort of man his parents envisioned him to be. Wooseok was proud.

 

Guan Lin finished the entire contents of his drink in no time, it was his favorite after all. He handed the empty cup back to Wooseok since the latter said he was headed back to the kitchen.  “Umm.. dad, can I go for a walk outside?” he dared to ask. “Just around the block.”

“At this hour? But it’s pretty dangerous.”

“I’ll be careful. I’ll be back before you know it.” Guan Lin needed an open space to clear out his messy thoughts and keeping himself cramped in his room was nowhere near helpful enough. “Please?”

Wooseok was reluctant about allowing Guan Lin. But the younger rarely asked him anything so, “Sure, just be back before 10. Yuto is gonna blow a fuse if you aren’t in the house by then,” he gave in eventually.

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

It was cold, freezing at some point, and Guan Lin hugged his jacket close to his body to keep himself warm and to shield himself from the harsh November wind. But the iciness of the night felt good somehow, it made him numb, and he preferred it rather than that painful clutching sensation around his chest. Going out of the house was probably a good idea after all.

Guan Lin was quietly walking passed their front lawn when a sound of a ball bouncing off the pavement could be heard. It was from their neighbor's house and Guan Lin stealthy made his way, careful enough not to be seen. Guan Lin jumped past the fence so he could approach closer and watch the spectacle.

It was Seonho. He was playing basketball by himself at their backyard. He so was immersed on the task that he hadn’t felt Guan Lin near, and Guan Lin didn’t want to ruin his momentum so he stood quietly and observed. With the ball securely in his hand, Seonho shifted to the right, did a quick fake pass his invisible foe and jumped to shoot the ball. He had his shoulder slightly bent and his form was off, Guan Lin noted. And he was right; the ball’s trajectory was sloppy, it hit the ring but bounced off and hadn’t gone in. Seonho uncharacteristically hissed under his breath at the missed shot. Guan Lin frowned; Seonho never cursed before.

“What a lousy shot,” Guan Lin thought but ended up voicing out. “You could do better than that.”

 

The younger turned his head, shocked that he hadn’t noticed Guan Lin’s presence behind him earlier. “Hyung….” Guan Lin really should get glasses; the way Seonho’s face lit up and the corner of his lips curling into a full smile when he saw the older male was blinding. “Why are you still out at this hour?”

“That’s my line,” Guan Lin snorted, unimpressed. “Needed fresh air, to unwind and think about some stuff.”

“Oh.”

 

 

And it was weird again, Seonho grew silent and anxious. Guan Lin should see the way the younger nervously bit his bottom lip and fondled with the hem of his sweatshirt. Guan Lin cleared his throat, tried to ease the awkward atmosphere between them. “Wanna play one on one?” he asked.

He half-expected the younger to decline his spontaneous offer, to reject him flatly and ran away again, but Seonho threw him the ball and it made Guan Lin smile secretly. The game was on. He made his way to the center then bounced the ball off his hands and bent his knees. Seonho was infront of him, already in his usual defensive stance, both arms held up. With a quick side step to the left, it didn’t take long before they got into a rhythm they were both comfortable with. Playing basketball with Seonho had always been special. Guan Lin wasn’t as good as Seonho was in terms of skill, but he still tried his best.

 

 

 

When they were done, both of them were panting hard, tried to regain their breaths as they sat together on the concrete ground. Seonho handed him his water container which Guan Lin immediately took. They only played twice but it was already physically taxing since they were basically just neck and neck. Seonho won the first time and Guan Lin won the next. It was a draw, not a clear win but Guan Lin thought it was enough; it could suffice.

“That was amazing,” Seonho said, amusement rich in his tone. “Playing with you is always amazing, hyung.”

Guan Lin thought the same thing, going up against Seonho had always been exciting, challenging. The way the younger pushed him pass his limits was remarkable, the adrenaline rush was something else. “Yeah, indeed it was.”

 

 

 

Then the dreaded silence came again, but Guan Lin didn’t seem to mind that time; he liked it. It was different but the good kind of different.

“Sorry about what happened that day,” Seonho suddenly said, it was slightly muddled but Guan Lin could still make up the younger’s words. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

To say that Guan Lin was shocked was an understatement but he had done his best to keep his usual poker face on. “It’s alright.”

“I was just shocked, and confused, and I didn’t know what got into me when I ran away.” Seonho sounded wary, stressed, the conversation was putting a strain on him and Guan Lin did not want to torment the younger any further. Seonho was guilty for what he did and Guan Lin thought it was already enough as an apology.

“It’s fine, Seonho. I get it. You don’t have to—”

“No, you don’t, hyung! You never do!” Seonho snapped. Guan Lin was taken aback, it was the first time Seonho had ever raised his voice on him. “You’re quiet most of the time and you rarely initiate conversation and for you to say those things …. it must have been hard. It was stupid and sensitive of me to leave you like that. I-I…..” Seonho was a blabbering mess.

 

 

Guan Lin took a deep breath before he continued. He needed to make sure he still had his sanity intact to handle the situation. “What are you even trying to say, Seonho?” 

He didn’t want to expect anything, he really didn’t, but the way Seonho looked at him … Seonho was making it hard for Guan Lin not to.

 

 

 

Seonho turned to him, his eyes were watery. He looked like he was at the verge of crying. “I like you too, hyung,” Seonho said with finality. “I like _like_ you.” And it was as if the world stood at a standstill after that.

 

 

Guan Lin opened his mouth but only to reluctantly close it again, unable to come up with a coherent sentence to answer back. It was adorable, how embarrassed Seonho looked. He was desperately trying not to avoid eye-contact, but his face was flushed, he so was beet-red that it reached his ears. Guan Lin found it cute, _very._ Guan Lin wanted to say he liked him too, to properly ask him out, but Guan Lin was too distracted by the idea that he wanted to kiss Seonho. He had a bunch of opportunities in his life that he willingly allowed to pass by, but he wasn’t going to let Seonho go, not ever; never.

So he did what he thought he had to do; Guan Lin leaned in slowly, but careful enough not to scare the younger away. It shocked Seonho at first; he visibly flinched at their sudden close proximity, when Guan Lin cupped his cheek gently, so Guan Lin stopped mid-way. He waited, for any sign of protest; he didn’t want Seonho to hate him. But when he saw Seonho closed his eyes willingly, awaited what Guan Lin was going to do next, Guan Lin knew there was no turning back.

 

It was inevitable. They were inevitable. They always had been.

 

When their lips touched for the very first time, for Guan Lin, it felt so right; it felt like home. It was clumsy, Guan Lin was afraid to ruin the moment so he hadn’t pushed Seonho further, to venture into uncharted territories that both weren’t ready for yet. They were young, they have their whole lives ahead of them, and there was no need to rush.

“Wow…..” Seonho said when Guan Lin pulled back and had slowly recovered for their innocent yet mind-blowing kiss. Their foreheads were against each other, their shaky breaths turned to smoke against the air, both were flushed, and Guan Lin liked it. “That was my first kiss.”

“Really?” Guan Lin couldn’t even stop himself from smiling till his eyes turned to crescent-like moons, he was happy. “Well, it was nice.”

“Yeah, you better take responsibility, hyung.” Seonho returned the favour and grinned back, equally happy as the older. “It was so nice that I demand kisses every day from now on!”

 

 

At the assertion, Guan Lin wasn’t so sure if he was going to laugh, or fall in love. _Seonho’s such a dork._

So he did both.

**Author's Note:**

> Yoo Seonho-ah, let's debut in a few years, okay? Much love to cube's bundle of joy.


End file.
